i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
