i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
