exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
