u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
