Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
