in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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