oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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