Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
