I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
