your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
