you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
