Say something about gay babies.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We are two peas in an std pod
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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