haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize