you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
