While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
