I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
