you mean i was at the winter classic?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
