well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
