I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
