my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
