we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
