how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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