You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
