We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize