Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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