Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
