Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
