At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
