Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
