i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
