will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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