Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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