"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
