I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
being pregnant is like rehab
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
