Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
