Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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