As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
