In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Houston, we have a squirter
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
