I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize