Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
