another moral hangover. fuck.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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