the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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