were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
