were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
