I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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