your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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