You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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