u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had sex on a roof
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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