Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
