you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
