So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
