"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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