I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize