Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
