btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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