theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I checked into jail on foursquare
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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