Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
