Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
