Duck Duck Cougar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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