this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He passed out mid-signature
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize