You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
