And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
