She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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