This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
