i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
