thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You can't just leave with hair like that
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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