All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
