so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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