He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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