Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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