and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
