i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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