we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
