I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
