We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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