Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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